Good rough draft! You gave good facts to support your propsition! Your sources are credible
But you did not use correct format for in-text citations.
Also you need one more source in your works cited list. Be sure to make these revsions on exam.
Fix the 2 issues stated above and make sure the essay has at least 5 paragraphs. (Correct the in-text citations from the sources already provided and Add and list another source and cite it!)